dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
