Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
