remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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