This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
