just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize