smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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