Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
