there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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