i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
