her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
