Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
