ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he fucked my hip out of place.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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