I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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