if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have fence marks all over my body
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