you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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