my vag is so smooth its legendary
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
