He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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