Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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