i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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