i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
