i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize