I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
