Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
