that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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