Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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