i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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