OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
