Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
