I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
