Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
