Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
