I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
