he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
