I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
