Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
