Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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