Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Are we still banned from the library?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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