I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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