I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
