Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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