exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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