you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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