Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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