she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
