my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i need some magic done to my vagina
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
