So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
