Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
