exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
