i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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