You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
