all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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