Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
