From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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