I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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