You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Randomize
