I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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